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Wednesday, September 29, 2010


     I'm pretty sure almost every dude (and maybe some chicks) had the thought of being a fucking pirate and it being bad ass. I mean common whats better then living on a boat with a bunch of dudes, no running water so no toilet or shower, we're also in the 16th century so that means no cell phones, no internet, and lets hope your still alive after you risked your life boarding ships and killing people with swords and blasting someone wide open with a cannon just to steal their shit. Imagine, pirates had a 40lb cannon ball that they would fire into someone and they didn't stop there with the cannon stuff. Pirates even started using mortars which fired out 200lb cannon balls which were mostly used on ships. (protip: stand out of the way of that thing)  There has also been this debate between pirates and ninjas, come to find out that pirates even used something called boarding hooks. (a.k.a grappling hooks) Not so bad ass are we ninjas?

     Common though its all worth it in the end, its all about the riches right? Think about it you board another ship kill everyone on the damn ship and steal all their things maybe even find a treasure map and treasure hunt who know. You know pirate life probably isn't that bad. It's like a big club for guys and it's actually against the pirate rules for females to join, so what they would do is they would dress in men's clothing to get away with it. (I guess pirates couldn't be in a breast judging competition) Not to mention pirates lived good, sense almost every pirate ship had modified ships to hold more cannons and larger crew than merchant ships it was easy to steal chests of gold, silver and jewels. Coins were especially popular because pirate crews could share them out easily. Emeralds and pearls were the most common jewels that were mined in America and provided rich plunder. However, pirates did not only seize precious cargoes like these. They also wanted things they could use, such as food, barrels of wine and brandy, weapons, sails, anchors and other spare equipment for their ship, and essential tools such as those belonging to the ship's carpenter and surgeon.

     All this pirate talk started at my friends apartment when she put in that new peter pan movie (which was so sexually subjective to little kids. watch it for the lulz) I had been wondering what to "blog" about then that's when the secret to blogging came to my mind. (which I will share with you all at the end of this) The scene in movie when this came to me was when Captain James Hook put his hook on like a bad ass and then out of no where I bursted out with "THATS ITS!!" and that's when my friends look at with the wtf face and waiting for an explation on why i intrupted the stupid childrens movie. I told them I was going write about the pirate hook and what it was used for but in my search of information is seems like eveything about pirate hooks is fictional. When you search things like "history of the pirate hook" you get stuff about peter pan and captain hook, such fail! There's not even information on what you could use a hook for. So I just wrote about pirates instead and this brings me to the secret of blogging. Next blog you write take that time to learn something new and share your newly found information with others. That way you can gain some random knowledge and have something intresting to write about. I'll just leave this here with you, this pirate song I hope you enjoy and start singing it to all your friends. See you to Davy Jones scallywags.

The Pirate Song
To the mast nail our flag it is dark as the grave,
Or the death which it bears while it sweeps o'er the wave;
Let our deck clear for action, our guns be prepared;
Be the boarding-axe sharpened, the scimetar bared:
Set the canisters ready, and then bring to me,
For the last of my duties, the powder-room key.
It shall never be lowered, the black flag we bear;
If the sea be denied us, we sweep through the air.
Unshared have we left our last victory's prey;
It is mine to divide it, and yours to obey:
There are shawls that might suit a sultana's white neck,
And pearls that are fair as the arms they will deck.

There are flasks which, unseal them, the air will disclose
Diametta's fair summers, the home of the rose.
I claim not a portion: I ask but as mine
'Tis to drink to our victory - one cup of red wine.
Some fight, 'tis for riches - some fight, 'tis for fame:
The first I despise, and the last is a name.

I fight, 'tis for vengeance! I love to see flow,
At the stroke of my sabre, the life of my foe.
I strike for the memory of long-vanished years;
I only shed blood where another shed tears,
I come, as the lightning comes red from above,
O'er the race that I loathe, to the battle I love.


  1. CPNJ x) I'm starting to use that shortcut!

  2. I fucking love pirates and hence I fucking love this blog post. The song in particular is awesome!

  3. Pirates are awesome. Too bad the hook turned out to be fictional.

  4. What about Somalian pirates? Dont' be so closed minded.

  5. Love Pirates, they beat ninjas any day.

  6. I'm an avid reader of yours so I'd appreciate it if you headed over to my blog and voted in my poll and stuff =)

  7. >implying pirates can actually beat ninjas

  8. Did Deadliest Warrior ever pit pirate and ninja?

  9. I actually prefer ninjas! They're more intelligent, more sneaky, more efficient than pirates! This was an amusing post. I've never seen one quite like it.

  10. If I were a pirate I would want to be Jack Sparrow or maybe even black beard, hehe.

  11. I always sided with pirates after I got hooked on the Dr. McNinja webcomic. Good blog, thanks!

  12. ARRRR! I wish I were a pirate, I had to wear an eye patch while younger on account of a lazy eye.
    It was so cool going to school as a pirate!

  13. Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus = GOD

  14. Anyone else always celebrate 'talk like a pirate day'?

  15. yar har fiddle e dee my favorite!

  16. if you like pirates you should check out the band Running Wild. german power metal (sung in english) and like 90% of their songs are about the golden age of piracy.

  17. I want to be a pirate! It is so fun travel in the sea! Arrghhh
    Mesty =)

  18. i like turning my fb to pirate language lol

  19. I'd like to be a pirate, too. Who doesn't?

  20. Loved pirates, keep up teh good work me matey.

  21. yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! ;p

  22. i can't get the pirate song out of my head now, arggghh lol